Walking to my favorite coffee shop with cigarette in hand and listening to the church play Joy to the world through their speakers.
I paused for a moment to think of American's celebration of Christmas. It still strikes me as odd that we close down many stores for Christmas day but we do nothing for other religious holidays.
I am learning to not place my hope in things that do not last and rather accept things the way they are. The only constant we have is change itself.
I remember as a child being so excited for Christmas day and it has occurred to me that those things must be let go of in order to remain at peace. To not put my hope in things to be the way they once were or what I would like them to be but accept things the way they are.
Do not misunderstand me. I am a person who has often tried to change people or things the way 'I think' they should be (which I recognize as a human tendency); but I have found that there is less suffering in accepting that I cannot change people or even certain 'things' and that 'my way' does not necessarily mean 'better' but different.
However, I do deserve to live my life the way I want to but I may need to walk away from the familiar in order to do so. Which is fearsome yet rewarding.
I have walked through several valleys and find that I always arrive on the peak, once I am through.
I am thankful.
As I approach 2013 I look forward to welcoming and celebrating a new chapter. Health and Happiness is my theme as I set goals and strategies to accomplish the things I want. I recognize that I have one life to live and that if there are things I want to do before I die, no one is going to hand them to me and I must do them myself.
I am inspired by the many strong women in my life who have stepped outside of the historical traditional mindset of our culture's 'woman' and are following their hearts desire.
I want to be a woman that shows strength in how I am created in my sex and my mind. There is no one else quite like me and I am going to live out loud.
This New Year I plan to focus on finishing school and working at wholefoods; bringing beauty and health into the world. I plan to practice my sketching; research and redefine beauty in my own way; quit smoking and loving my body in the practice of eating less processed foods and more organic fruits and vegetables in addition to making my muscles stronger to support my lifestyle and accomplish fitness goals such as running a race; Embracing all relationships, allowing my true beauty to be seen by others and honoring that.
These are the things I look forward to bathing myself with. I have many aspirations before I die but know that if I want to feel as if I have touched any of them I need to build a strategy and let myself be focused.
Thank you for sharing in this with me and if there are other ways in which you would like to share, don't hesitate to get in contact with me.
I send much love to you all and pray for you to see it.