Abnormal

I just finished my pre-settlement questionaire and am feeling sorry for myself.  I had to recount how my accident has effected me and the struggles it put me through.  Not fun.  I am also having bad reactions to my medication and that is not helping either.  I just need a place to whine and send it out into the universe or the internets...  I realized after writing out this stuff that I have been on the search for a right medication for a year! And still havent found the right one.  I even went to the hospital one day because of it.  I really wish there was a way out.  I feel like I am sitting in the midst of a fire and I want to run but instead I must sit and wait for it to be distinguished.  I feel like the only person I can look to is God to give me patience.  It's tiring to get your hopes up again and again just to be let down. 

Because of this "down" feeling and fatigue, I am constantly in search of something to bring me "up". Because of this I keep reaching for candy and soda.  It does the trick but I am gaining weight.  I am trying to be gentle with myself in this area but it is difficult when I am also trying to lose weight and am defeating it myself.  Its the feeling of trying to succeed at something but you are the one that keeps stopping yourself and you can't help it.  Oh and being broke and not being able to buy healthy food doesn't help either.  Gahhhh!!!!!!

I feel like I need some type of community support.  Or just community in general.  I just want to feel normal again.

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